I have always been a Type A person, driven to achieve and succeed, never allowing myself to even think about giving up. I learned to push myself at an early age, and I was rewarded with compliments and opportunities that only encouraged me to dream bigger and reach higher. I think part of my perspective came from growing up in New England, where virtually everyone reminded us that we could achieve anything to which we set our minds. If we weren’t achieving all of our goals, it was simply because we weren’t trying hard enough. Over time, I realized my excessive need to succeed was having a negative impact on my health and well-being, but it was difficult to see any other path forward, as it is all I have known for so long. Recently, however, I committed to shifting my perspective to focus less on an outcome and more on simply enjoying the process and trusting that whatever success is meant for me will find me. I won’t say it has been easy, as retraining your brain never is, but it has afforded me the opportunity to not only adopt a much healthier attitude towards success but also to be more at peace with myself.
Last fall, I started drafting some changes to my business model in an effort to live a more intentional life (you can read more about my 2022 intentions here). While thinking about those changes, I began to consider what success would look like going forward. I also became interested in knowing how others define success for themselves. To begin my research, I jotted down a list of questions and then began an extensive Google search with the hope of uncovering the true meaning of success. Yes, my goal was to find success by understanding success. Ha! Unsurprisingly, the responses to my queries were varied and merely reinforced the fact that success looks different for all of us. I was reminded that we all want to be successful (no one wakes up in the morning with hopes of being unsuccessful), we all strive for it, and, most importantly, we all want to be truly happy once we achieve it.
Merriam-Webster paints a picture similar to how many people view success – as a very personal and, therefore, subjective idea that usually involves some finite quantity or specific achievement. Looking back, I realized I always defined success in ways that felt much too limited.
“For many, success means reaching a goal, accomplishing a task, or otherwise accomplishing what they set out to do – essentially, something is a success when the outcome turns out well, is desirable, or is favorable. Beyond that, the definition of success is personal”
-Merriam-Webster
By searching for a new definition of success, I found myself becoming much more open-minded and considerate of what truly matters most in life. One of the best ways I have been able to loosen my Type A tendencies has been to learn to trust myself more; it is a slow process that requires consistent practice and an abundance of patience. It also involves deep introspection and really listening to what my heart is telling me. One of my Love Languages is Acts of Service, and I am happiest and most joyful when I am sharing my time, talents, and ideas in ways that serve others, inspire and encourage, and help people to see a brighter future for themselves. I came to realize I knew all along the best way to be both successful and happy – I simply needed to trust myself and begin.
I have followed Eva Amurri’s blog Happily Eva After for several years. Last summer, she wrote a post about her favorite women-founded brands, and she included a quote about success that resonated so deeply with me. I made a quick note of it at first, but then I found myself going back to it over and over again as I drafted my new business model. I feel like she captures the true meaning of success and defined it better than anyone ever has.
When talking with her daughter Marlowe about the importance of supporting other women, Eva said:
“I try to teach my daughter that success isn’t like a pie. If somebody has a piece, it doesn’t mean there’s less for her. Success, in fact, is like magic. It never runs out. If people around us find some, it’s the most beautiful indication that the magic is there, in the ether, to be found.”
– Eva Amurri, Happily Eva After
Instead of viewing success as finite, I began to imagine what would happen if I instead viewed it as infinite … or even like “magic”. I devised three simple pieces of advice for achieving success – based on some of my favorite quotes – that aren’t tied to any specific achievement or finite quantity. When viewing success in this way, I find myself feeling much more optimistic and hopeful and much less stressed. I hope you will find them helpful as you define what success means to you.
- Stay True to Yourself
- Focus on what makes you, you. Your passions, skills, experiences, and perspectives are unique – use your time and talents to do things that only you can. That is what will set you apart from everyone else.
- Follow your heart. Try to worry less about what you think you ‘should’ do or what you think ‘others want you to do’ and focus on setting into action those thoughts and ideas that make you feel most inspired and alive.
- Trust that your passion for your work will shine through and know that simply being yourself will serve as an inspiration to others.
- In the words of Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
- Be Kind to Others
- Before you can be kind to others, you must be kind to yourself. Don’t let fear or jealousy make you bitter or resentful. Simply trust in the process and know that whatever success is meant for you will find you. Sometimes things just take longer than we hope.
- Whenever possible, strive to form meaningful relationships with people. Lift others up, support them through the tough times, and celebrate their joys and successes. Let their success serve as inspiration for you, not competition.
- Remember that “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
- Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude
- Keep a gratitude journal, and each morning, jot down three things from the previous day for which you are grateful. Do this consistently for a time, and you will find it to be life-changing.
- You will likely have heard people say to never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. It’s true. Always remember how far you’ve come – you are doing things today that you once only dreamed of doing.
- Stay the course, do your best, and never lose sight of the fact that “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – This quote is often attributed to Aesop
Thanks for following along, friends. I am so grateful you are here! I would love to know, how do you define success?
I’ll be back next Wednesday with a fun idea for a handmade Easter craft. I hope to see you back here then.
xo, Tiffany